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Sticks and Stones
By: Rose DesRochers
The cyber bully needs a life.
Bullying has gone into the depths of cyber world. These grown adults are the same children from the school playground that called you kindergarten baby and took your milk money.
Internet users are creating web sites that target other online users. Can you imagine someone creating a web site centered all on you, which says how much they hate you? An entire website dedicated to just you? Ah how special. Well no actually it can be quite damaging.
They post private emails, edited photos of you with offensive comments, hate messages about you, anything they think that discriminates you. You would think it would be just teens partaking in this online bullying, but it is not. It is grown adults who are acting like spoiled children. Just where does the madness in this stop?
These sites list and make horrible claims about you and even your family. Similar to the kind of bullying you dealt with on the school yard as a child. Internet bullies tease and ridicule their victim. This can have damage on your offline life as well. Cyber bullies get this sense of satisfaction every time you react to them. It is like a notch on their belt. They are like a rapid dog foaming at the mouth and their bite can be just as damaging. It all comes down to a matter of power, control and domination. They feel in power when they are getting you to react.
Bullies will even group together, send out emails to your friends and if it is a community such a forum board like Todays-Woman.net they will join and create conflict. The purpose of this tactic is to wind your members up. Don't be fooled into believing anything they say has any validity. They are also very manipulating in their tactics. If they don't get their way they will attempt to befriend anyone who they think they can convince to take their side, in an attempt to make you the victim. There are no victims in this only those who volunteer and you do not have to be a volunteer to their childish games.
Bullies know very well that they can create conflict by getting at least one person out of a group to second guess your character. Once they have that they will in return use that to further flame you.
They even will use your isp provider or web domain host’s terms of service rules against you, they provoke an angry response to their abusive email to you and then they send the abusive email to your internet provider or hosting company.
All these bullies are is attention seekers and it’s like when my son was 3- and he was throwing a tantrum to get my attention. If you are a victim of online bulling keep all abusive emails. Even if the situate ends hold on to all abusive evidence. Create a new folder, and move hate mail and flame mail, screen captures, any thing you have as proof into this folder. When the time comes to take legal action, this will be your evidence to provide in court. Do not reply to their postings or their email. The less attention you give these attention seekers the better. Treat them as if they don’t exist.
Every time they point out your short comings all they are really do is pointing out their own. Should you feel sorry for yourself because you are the victim? No by reacting to them you are the volunteer. They are the victim as their life must be so sad that they must bully someone online to get their kicks.
Next time you open one of those emails or read a stupid forum post just think that they are really revealing the truth about themselves. I know it is hard not to reply but you don’t need to justify your actions to anyone. Just laugh it off. What they are saying has no effect on you. Gossip is just that gossip. Responsible adults and your friends will see right through their childish tactics. The way the bully is reacting on a message board will be evident for itself. Every time they type flaming you they are opening mouth and inserting their foot. I sit back and laugh at the stupidity of their actions. Bully On-Line Is a great website that identifies the different types of harassment and bullying.
For one year I have been a victim of cyber bulling. They have pulled every stop from emailing all my members, creating a web page about me, getting past the ban I set, abusive emails and etc.
For the last seven months I have been the victim of another webmasters cyber bullying. I have learned in both situations adults will take you at face value and not buy into the gossip and the cyber bully. Your reputation will always speak for itself. You don’t have to take cyber bulling, be smart don’t reply. Like I said treat nobodies as just that nobodies. The truth will always set you free and those that believe the gossip were not worth it after all. In the end they will see the wolf in sheep's clothing for what he or she really is a foaming dog that’s bark is worse than the bite that doesn’t touch the surface of your skin.
Hope and pray someday they will get a life and stop trying to bully you around like a spoiled child on a play ground that is after your milk money. Truth is while you are doing some predictive with your life they are living their life waiting to see your next move.
All comes down to their own weakness and when all else fails remember stick and stones will break your bones but those names they won't hurt you. A bully is just someone with a meaningless life who strives and lives for conflict.
About the Author
Rose
DesRochers is a published author, web columnist and founder of Today's Woman
http://www.todays-woman.net
; a supportive online
community for men and women over 18. Their goal is to help writers succeed in
the writing industry.
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